Thursday, February 3, 2011

Headlines Vol. 5: Broadcasting

Blind Play-by-Play Announcer Says Whatever the Hell He Feels Like Saying
"And the Seattle Mariners are world champions of baseball!"

ESPN Replaces Chris Berman with Howler Monkey

Focus groups preferred the primate's guttural moans to Berman's obtuse references and paragraph-length nicknames.

Joe Buck to Fan, "Hi Mom!"
Mrs. Buck says she finds her son "watchable" and "not so smug if you turn the volume low."

Middle School Basketball Game Brought to You By Insecurities
Co-sponsored by hormones and desperation

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