Sunday, January 2, 2011

Sports Brief: Bettman Urges NHL to Boost Win Percentage

New York - In a press conference on Monday, January 3rd, National Hockey League Commissioner Gary Bettman sent a strong message to NHL coaches, players and staff to "play our hardest, get up those wins, move up in the standings" to compete against Major League Baseball, the National Football League, and the National Basketball Association.

Citing a .500 record of "around 1230-1230" in every season of the past decade (excluding the canceled 2005 season due to labor dispute), Bettman praised teams such as the Detroit Red Wings and New Jersey Devils for doing their part, while bringing into the question the performance of less successful teams such as the Phoenix Coyotes.

"For every ['09-'10 season] performance of 47-35, by the Pittsburgh Penguins, we end up having a 35-47 performance, by the Atlanta Thrashers. Meanwhile in baseball we have the Yankees, the Red Sox, the Phillies, the Braves winning god knows how many games for their leagues."

"In the short term, I would like to go from mediocre to better-than-average," Bettman said, "and then we can look to the playoffs." The NHL has an equally average post-season win-percentage.

Bettman stopped the press conference early to head home for game night with his family. Sources say Bettman became increasingly frustrated with the game of Jenga because "it never feels like we're getting anywhere."

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