Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A glance into what makes a shity a city

I'm glad Lily clarified, "a true Pittsburgher's perspective" because this brings me to a point that I almost always must clarify. Let's look at an example:

Random Person: "So, where are you from?

Me: (uh...) "Pittsburgh.. but.."

Random Person: "ohhh..cool" (That bulb goes off in the person's head, ugh pittsburgh!? They almost feel sorry for you, they give you the look a mother gives a child when he falls and injures himself)

Me: ..but I'm actually from D.C.

Random Person: "That's cool" (You're still from Pittsburgh, its okay)

So I'm glad I did not give a true Pittsburgher's perspective because that would be like getting the Carolina Panther's perspective on the Super Bowl this year (totally irrelevant). Lily, this is not directed at you, you know you mah boi blue, but child please it's Pittsburgh we are talking about.

Reasons:
On a Friday night anywhere from 5-8 pm (I have done this several times), you can drive through one end of the city to the other (through 6 bridges) in less than 5 minutes. It is relatively small (56 largest city in U.S) and there really isn't much to do besides go to a steelers game, go up an 1800's incline, and say yinz.

Supposedly, there is a pretty decent bar area down in the "South Side". Actually it has the longest strip of bars in the world no lie. So ask me this then, If on a friday night at 2 am at the longest strip of bars in the world why couldn't my friends (lily was there) find a cab the rest of the night?

Because you couldn't even find cash cab on tv in pittsburgh, there are, no joke, almost 0 cabs in shitsburgh.

This guy plays here.

Pittsburgher's use words like yinz, buggy (grocery cart), crick (creek), stillers (steelers) and are the perfect mix of West Virginia and Cleveland... a little more classy than WV, a little bit cooler than Cleveland.

There's also no regional rail or subway which kind of pisses me off.

I could go on forever.. but I'll stop and await my response...

-Baller

Additionally:
I just saw this on yahoo news:

4 comments:

  1. also, this is a blog for sports, and while Pittsburgh does have a booming sports scene and multiple trophies with which to back the previous statement up, I don't think the city in general falls under the category of "sport"

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  2. "..and sport-related humor written by the ill-informed." -T.Garb

    it is a sport for me to make fun of pittsburgh, therefore it would be a sport-related humor, my sport of shitting on pittsburgh

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