Thursday, December 16, 2010

Athletes: What are they thinking? Vol. 1

Above: An artist's rendering of Dr. Wilhelm Goodrich
TUS's resident psychologist and palm reader Dr. Wilhelm Goodrich examines athletes' facial expressions in order to determine their exact thoughts at the moment the photographer snaps the shot. Here he provides commentary for a Sports Illustrated gallery entitled: Baseball's $100 Million Men.

Derek Jeter: "As I struggle to grip this baseball, I am also struggling to grip the complexities of being bi-racial in a society so hopelessly caught up in the binaries of whiteness and blackness.

C.C. Sabathia: "I'm thinkin' Arby's"

Manny Ramirez: "I'm thinkin' fertility drugs."

Troy Tulowitzki: "I refuse to kowtow to society's demands that I wear sleeves of equal length."

Carl Crawford: "You can take the devil out of the ray, but you can't take the Lord out of CarL CrawfORD. Carl Crawford loves wordplay!"

Todd Helton: "Vanilla ice cream."

Johan Santana: "They say laughter is the best medicine, but my shoulder still hurts."

Jayson Werth: "Without facial hair I'd look like an asshole."

Barry Zito: "I look like an asshole."

Miguel Cabrera: "Aha Mr. Sun, I see you up there in the sky. You are a worthy foe, but you will not burn my supple skin today because, as we speak, I am putting a ball cap on my head

Kevin Brown: "What will that crazy George Lopez do next?"

Mike Hampton: "I'm pitching with one leg, suck on that Jim Abbott."

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